Accepting the Reader Within & A Six-Letter Word

Meeting my inner reader and kicking one word to the curb.

I'm finished with the second category of the KonMari Method, books.

I've been experiencing a quarter-life crisis for a few years and I feel like I'm finally coming out the other side. All of this organizing is actually really helping with that. It's funny, I never thought that going through my stuff would tell me so much about myself.

My Book Cleansing Method 

The technical KonMari rule is to get rid of all the books you haven't read yet and only keep those books that are actually useful that you will refer to again. I'm a book lover, so that filled me with some serious rage and I knew that wouldn't work for me, so I tweaked it.

I made myself read the synopsis of and the first couple of pages of those books I haven't yet read. If I felt like I wanted to keep reading, then I kept it. If not, then away it went. As for the books I have already read, I've only kept those books that I loved enough to want to be able to lend them out to others who may also love them.

Meeting My Inner Reader

When I started my decluttering of all the books, I found myself feeling some guilt when I realized a trend among those books that didn't spark much joy for me. My undergraduate degree is in English. I really only picked the major because I love reading and discussing books and found myself gravitating towards those classes anyway. 

Because I spent so much time and money on literature courses, I have found myself being guilty of gravitating towards those books that I thought I should read. The thing is, I very rarely like those books. I don't want to read and re-read the classics, but I always thought that I should be that person. That it was expected of me. 

The Six-Letter Word I'm Trying to Kick

Last summer I had a handful of therapy sessions where I realized that a lot of the things I have done in life and a lot of the decisions I have made are a result of one word, should. I should do x,y, and z. I should be or like x,y, and z. All of the shoulds were clouding my vision of who I actually was and what I actually want to be, so we worked to eliminate the shoulds to get to what it is that I want.

Discovering What I WANT To Read

After going through all of my books, I have a better idea of what books I want to read. I want to read books that are fairly well-written. I prefer realistic fiction, but do enjoy some magical or science-fiction elements. I enjoy some chic-lit, but cringe and giggle like a schoolgirl at adult content. I really love when a writer can surprise me and throw me off course.

With that said, I do also want to occasionally step outside of my comfort-zone, because I think that sort of challenge helps keep me on my toes and provides me with the opportunity to grow. I want to be more mindful though when making selections like that and make sure that I don't feel like I have to finish it if I don't like it.

Do you struggle with the shoulds in your life too?

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